everything is silent

The only sounds I want to hear are those of your voice.
The only sounds I want to dance to are those from your mind.
I just want to be with you, closer each day, joyous and contagious with your laughter. I want to be really close to you physically too. I want to feel the heat of your hand brushing against mine.
I miss you so much, all day I've been trying to leave status updates all over where you might see them. I do this so you know what I'm up to, but I don't think you've payed any mind.. your message says the same thing: "pulsating"
not knowing how you're doing is so difficult to deal with. only because I want to know that you're well and maybe thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about you.
i feel really alone and i need to hear your voice..your comforting thoughts put in speech and sweet sentences. i miss you lots and i don't think this "break" is gonna last.
i can wait till I'm ready, when I am I will let you know.

at 4:50 am

I woke up, I looked at my phone thinking about you, thinking about how much I'd be in your thoughts. Imagining your ride back home, imagining how much music was on your mind. I had 2 messages, one from Allie, one from you. You! I read it right away, I saw your sweet words and it was like I felt you right there with me. I looked @ the time you sent it and I realized I was just going to sleep when you had sent it, I even recall hearing my phone ring my tone for texts-thinking it was Allie replying to me I ignored it. It was you c:

I looked @ my facebook and I saw that two hours after you'd sent that nice text to me, you'd also commented me, and it lets me know just how much you've been thinking about me.
you're sincerely a really sweet man, the man who I love and will care for unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that I still have your heart, that I'm on your mind. You are too on mine.

I love you too, and I've been missing you, my sunshine.

the night is falling

Yes, it's getting dark and the day is going,
the night is falling,
tonight I feel you deep inside my heart with longing.

That's as far as I'll take my poetry tonight because I know that when it's nighttime it's time for me to get ready to talk to you; to hear your voice, see how your day went, and I long for that moment that wont come tonight. The moment I long for so much is coming soon, but not tonight-still, it's getting closer. Your voice will only be the one I have in my heart,the sweet words and laughs, those I will only remember tonight. Those great moments in which your voice bared love and care because it's that voice that is worth remembering, that is the voice that I choose to hear and the voice that I choose to sketch my smile. I wish I could be a part of you tonight and hear all about your night and your crazy great adventures in the day. I long for you every minute that I let you linger into my mind and mostly into my heart-this happens every minute that it's darker, and later outside. When darkness covers all, my heart's sunshine brightly shines upon yours to let my eyes, my soul, see within it. Your heart is beautiful, your intentions too I know this because I've been in love with you-I still am. It's getting closer and closer to that time for me to hear your voice say 'I love you & good night' and though it may not come tonight, inside I feel peace and joy from knowing that you'll also be missing me and longing for me.
For now I'll be more than happy writing these memoirs to you. These memoirs of love and feelings of longing for you. So that you know just how much I've really thought about you. So that you know just how much my heart loves you and how good it is, how good and wholesome my love is for you.

I am willing to take this time to take off on a little vacation into my heart and my mind. It's truly amazing how much I've discovered about us within myself, and most importantly how good it feels to find that it is all good and that I love you. Though you are imperfect, you are also beautiful in many ways that I know how to appreciate. Now it's time to learn even more ways for me to see how amazing you are in places I never dared discover.

Just know that "your name is on my heart" as you said to me recently.

Leo, your name is on my heart.

everything happens for a reason

right now im thinking a lot
i feel good because my homework is to let a lot of emotions pass me by. a lot of emotions settle and marinate and flush them out.
and i feel sad at times too, because i miss you.
it is without a doubt that i have to say that i love you.
i wish i had a little camera by you so i could spy on you and just so that i could see you smiling and enjoying yourself.

i know you're having a great time. i know your day is going well and mine is too.
i'm a little worried about us, but i am SO OVER THE TOP willing to improve in any way to be happier and make you happier.

you are really amazing to me, you are really sweet to me, you are really great in every way. i just want to enjoy your company; have a few laughs with you and smile because you're next to me, holding my hand. i want to show you so much love, show you how much i care about you, i want to show you so much respect and show you by allowing you to be free in anything you like to do, i want to show you respect by acknowledging what you say, and caring about it. i want to be a best friend, and i want to be your sweetheart.

i hope you feel the way i do, that your thoughts and your memory have focus for only one person. that your heart only answers to another heart's beat. i hope that it is me who inspires you or motivates you.
my thoughts and my memory show me only your eyes, your smile, your beautiful self. smiling at me, or making a silly face,or showing me a big smile when you see me. i only know the beautiful you. my memory too only remembers that side of you. my heart only answers to the song of yours, to your own heartbeat.

at this point i feel like i've departed, like i'm far from you, but i am still with you. like a long trip away from home, and yet i'm at home, and i'm glad that i know you are in my life. i am gone away for a bit because i need this time to heal all these wounds i never took care of. this love we have is not a contest. not for me, i just want to enjoy one day at a time by your side. this is not a strive for perfection either, i am happy with imperfection, i just want to learn to enjoy it. you've taught me many things, but i've yet to accept them and learn them and apply them. however, i am trying my best. i love you with my big red fast thumping heart.

i miss you lovie

Leonard Sita

Lets go somewhere
Where you and I could be the only ones there, where time won't pass, it
won't run out.
And we will fill each others' heart with all we ever needed to survive.
Everything will be good, and even when it storms we'll celebrate.
Because we know the joy we hold inside will make the shining sun come
out again.
<3 Sandra

yoshimi battles the pink robots pt1&pt2

hmm, im so happy with everything. i feel like having leo makes it so that i don't worry about a thing. i feel soo complete with him by my side. i like him a lot he is such a cutie, and a smart boy. i mean man. while my family may or may not fall apart, i am just trying to concentrate in my happyness, and take everything one thing at a time. making an effort in everything, and doing my best. managing my time wisely, and making it all work out. it has actually seemed like it works so well. i feel secure and safe with leo, and i think thats whats keeping me so calm. he brings me a sort of inner peace.
i've got a whole lot of things going on which would normally upset me or be too much to handle, i could count almost an endless list of new responsabilities that i have been blessed with. so many that i just am so surprised to be able to take it all so well. i know that once swim starts every little bit of time i have left now will be used for swimming and resting. at the same time thats what i want. its my last year and i want to do well, i want to improve, and God is giving me that chance.
life isn't something we get many chances or many choices; well we do, but we have to make the right choice and decision the first time. so like i've already mentioned, i'm willing to do something for myself and for my own benefit. i have so many areas in which i could become more rich in. right now i'm not stressing about anything. it feels really great.

i love feeling this way. invincible.

Tonight

I saw people in love. And I thought of when I felt that way about
someone.
I miss it.
<3 Sandra

rubix cube

idk, whats it with coming up witha title for every blog. fuck that.
anywhooo... i felt like i have a lot to say and shit and i have just been kept so shut away almost to the whole world. sincerely speaking now, i have put my life on pause. im tired of it. i need to get back to living to the fullest, and well, also i feel like i need to find someone.
PEOPLE ALWAYS GET SICK OF HEARING OTHERS' UNFORTUNATE LOVE STORIES. & i dont blame them, i say it cause i know... i do too! and well no one reads this anyway. i dont give a flying octopus.

so basically, i need to find someone, but i'm not really looking for commitment. exclusiveness? yes, with also an open possibility to a well driven relationship. come on boys! where are you?


THE ONLY BOYS THAT FULFILL MY DREAMS SO FAR, ARE THE ONES I HAVE HAD DREAMS ABOUT AT NIGHT. they are all made up characters in my imagination and i suppose thats why i sleep all the time. no one to fucking rescue me from this way of living. if seriously you're trying to get my attention to rescue me and i am not noticing, wait, even if you think im noticing..whatever. just say, "macaroni" to me next time you see me. that way, i will know.

bodily functions

i feel tired and somewhat like i need some pizzaz is my life.
i need something, and i am not quite sure what it is other than him.
i know i need a certain someone, we both need each other.
i guess waiting for the right time to have a new beginning will just happen all on its own.
i hope that it all works out better than i could have ever imagined it possible.
i am always happy, but i need some tender love and care... from him.