the night is falling

Yes, it's getting dark and the day is going,
the night is falling,
tonight I feel you deep inside my heart with longing.

That's as far as I'll take my poetry tonight because I know that when it's nighttime it's time for me to get ready to talk to you; to hear your voice, see how your day went, and I long for that moment that wont come tonight. The moment I long for so much is coming soon, but not tonight-still, it's getting closer. Your voice will only be the one I have in my heart,the sweet words and laughs, those I will only remember tonight. Those great moments in which your voice bared love and care because it's that voice that is worth remembering, that is the voice that I choose to hear and the voice that I choose to sketch my smile. I wish I could be a part of you tonight and hear all about your night and your crazy great adventures in the day. I long for you every minute that I let you linger into my mind and mostly into my heart-this happens every minute that it's darker, and later outside. When darkness covers all, my heart's sunshine brightly shines upon yours to let my eyes, my soul, see within it. Your heart is beautiful, your intentions too I know this because I've been in love with you-I still am. It's getting closer and closer to that time for me to hear your voice say 'I love you & good night' and though it may not come tonight, inside I feel peace and joy from knowing that you'll also be missing me and longing for me.
For now I'll be more than happy writing these memoirs to you. These memoirs of love and feelings of longing for you. So that you know just how much I've really thought about you. So that you know just how much my heart loves you and how good it is, how good and wholesome my love is for you.

I am willing to take this time to take off on a little vacation into my heart and my mind. It's truly amazing how much I've discovered about us within myself, and most importantly how good it feels to find that it is all good and that I love you. Though you are imperfect, you are also beautiful in many ways that I know how to appreciate. Now it's time to learn even more ways for me to see how amazing you are in places I never dared discover.

Just know that "your name is on my heart" as you said to me recently.

Leo, your name is on my heart.

everything happens for a reason

right now im thinking a lot
i feel good because my homework is to let a lot of emotions pass me by. a lot of emotions settle and marinate and flush them out.
and i feel sad at times too, because i miss you.
it is without a doubt that i have to say that i love you.
i wish i had a little camera by you so i could spy on you and just so that i could see you smiling and enjoying yourself.

i know you're having a great time. i know your day is going well and mine is too.
i'm a little worried about us, but i am SO OVER THE TOP willing to improve in any way to be happier and make you happier.

you are really amazing to me, you are really sweet to me, you are really great in every way. i just want to enjoy your company; have a few laughs with you and smile because you're next to me, holding my hand. i want to show you so much love, show you how much i care about you, i want to show you so much respect and show you by allowing you to be free in anything you like to do, i want to show you respect by acknowledging what you say, and caring about it. i want to be a best friend, and i want to be your sweetheart.

i hope you feel the way i do, that your thoughts and your memory have focus for only one person. that your heart only answers to another heart's beat. i hope that it is me who inspires you or motivates you.
my thoughts and my memory show me only your eyes, your smile, your beautiful self. smiling at me, or making a silly face,or showing me a big smile when you see me. i only know the beautiful you. my memory too only remembers that side of you. my heart only answers to the song of yours, to your own heartbeat.

at this point i feel like i've departed, like i'm far from you, but i am still with you. like a long trip away from home, and yet i'm at home, and i'm glad that i know you are in my life. i am gone away for a bit because i need this time to heal all these wounds i never took care of. this love we have is not a contest. not for me, i just want to enjoy one day at a time by your side. this is not a strive for perfection either, i am happy with imperfection, i just want to learn to enjoy it. you've taught me many things, but i've yet to accept them and learn them and apply them. however, i am trying my best. i love you with my big red fast thumping heart.

i miss you lovie

blank

used to be really addicting.
now crochetting, but i see in the future something more.
you'll see
for now that photo is a preview at coming attractions.
i wanna do so much, create, and collaborate.
:D
ps: you may lol @ my face. ;P

oh and here are a few sets from my polyvore.
wooohoo

lol



technicolourish - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


cute in stripes - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


simple comfort - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


little red things - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


summery - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


eileen - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com

random thought: i want to go to vancouver, korea, japan, and montreal. asap.


ohh man, i got a film analysis paper to write.
enough procrastinating for now.

oh! and i got a twitter!
<3 sancapimo = me on twitter


wait, before i go i recommend you view this film:


Coraline - by Counterlines on Polyvore.com

Bye4N0w <3

hola 2009

so im a little late with this but i believe that its time for me to make some minor adjustments in my life

1. my eating habits

• seriously healthy diet
• no sugar (or rather not going out of my way to eat it)
• plenty of water.. like a liter a day
• eat six times a day- regular meals with snacks in between
• more lean proteins-chicken, fish, boiled eggs, lean beef (with all the fat drained off), lentils, lima beans, or any type of beans
  
• less carbs/light carbs-no more pasta, rice, soda, or bread.
• VEGGIES!-leafy vegetables, carrots, raisins, broccoli and fresh fruits
  

2. my workout habits

• 30 minutes of cardio everyday
• intense weight training/aerobic (alternating) 6 days a week
• yoga, dance, pilates, or stretching 5 days a week

wooo good luck

I Don't Want To Make This A Habit

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. I love you so much, I want to be yours for the rest of my existence.

2. I'm so happy you knew were to go for a special gift for me, because it shows you really know me now.

3. I want to stop you from getting hurt, I know what your boyfriend has been up to, and all he has been saying to you are lies.

4. Even though I want you to feel what you've done to girls I care about, I wont be part of a plot against you, I'm not like you.

5. I'm sorry for being part of the reason why you were hurt so bad in the past.

6. I'm afraid our friendship wont be what I thought it would be.

7. I hope one day you enlighten me with the plan and path I must follow.

8. I wish you were a true friend, and a respectable person.

9. I want to get close to you because I have discovered how real you are.

10. I want to do everything it takes to keep you happily by my side.

BONUS** I love you so much, and I will always be there to care for you. You are like a son to me, I admire you and I've seen you grow. I want your life to be the happiest and healthiest you could ever come across.

Nine Things about Myself:

1. I am a creative being

2. Water is my element

3. I am not as carefree as I wish I could be

4. I want to do it all

5. I wish I could get a functional ikea bedroom

6. I need a place for everything, otherwise I go nuts

7. I wish I could play the guitar, the piano, but most of all, the ukelele

8. I want to learn everything my grandma knows how to do

9. I want to write a book some day, about all the great people in my life and the influence they had on mine

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1. Be yourself

2. Show me what makes you happy and unique

3. Show me self control

4. Have respect for your elders and others alike

5. Tell me the truth, no matter what

6. Tell me your past, even the rough patches

7. Be there for me

8. Show me that you truly care about me

Seven Things that Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. What should my career choice be?

2. How can I make my life less complicated?

3. I need money and for that, a better job.

4. Should I go through with my tattoo idea?

5. How do I forget all about jealousy and live a life jealousy free?

6. How can I make someone else feel good about their lives?

7. What is the path to becoming the ideal me?

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Get into comfortable PJs

2. Run to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take off my contacts

3. Say goodnight to my family

5. Plug in my laptop and phone with the alarm on for the next day

6. Get in bed and call Lenny to wish him sweet dreams, a good night, and for him to rest well

Five People Who Mean a Lot:

1. My family: (Mom, Dad, Jaime)

2. My relatives: (Grandparents, Cousins, Uncles)

3. My boyfriend: Leonard

4. My friends: (A lot to mention)

5. Me

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now:

1. Chipped dark purple nail polish

2. Green Bodysuit

3. Mint corduroy shorts

4. Black canvas shoes

Three Songs I listen to Often (or 3 bands/artists):

1. Steve Aoki

2. El Guincho

3. The Flaming Lips

Two Things I Want to Do Before I die:

1. Accomplish more than I ever wanted

2. Be happily married, with respectable, smart, and witty children

One Confession:

I usually give great advice to others but it's so hard for me to apply my own knowledge to my life. Nevertheless, I still hope my advice helps others live life in a better way.

A Letter to A Hipster Wannabe

I'm done, I cannot stand when people change for the worst. I hate dumb fucks and especially not being told the truth. Have fun with your clone looking friends, I’m crossing my fingers and hoping this is all an attempt at a scheme that lead up to Halloween.
I have had it with all the importance you give to others' perceptions of your fake ass identity.
Your high regards for looks and appearance are lame; your attempts at it are really sad and obvious.
You were blessed with a working brain for a reason, all you have to do is try to think for yourself and not let others do that for you. Try to stay informed and think before you act or speak; start caring for yourself, and most important listen to those who have been there for you in the past.
The warning signs are more obvious than you realize, heartbreak is bound to come your way.
We have seen it coming, it is going to be bad, just look at his past.
You denied the warm embrace, which was once offered to you; no one is going to help you out of this one. Do not expect to be able to fall back on those who actually got to know you and now you've forgotten all about (along with your identity).
Before it is too late, come to realize how wrong you have been acting.

One last piece of advice before I completely give up on lending you a hand:
Try to find all the pieces of yourself you have lost on the way to the present.
Until you realize this, you will remain weak, sad, incomplete, alone and unhappy.
I can tell that you have not found yourself, much less, what makes you happy.
Find out what makes you, you. Then embark on your own search for happiness instead of looking at what makes others happy to fulfill your unsteady identity.
You are a shapeless glass, undefined and without boundaries to hold any identity, morals, standards or happiness. Find who you are, find your own unique shape. No one can tell you who you are or what you are, that is all up to you.

Ps: If you can relate to any of this, I dedicate this to you.

The Media Today

1- After reading this, I wanted to get botox.Hopefully it would help me look less sour around my mom and we'd be friends:
"In June 2008 in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, a team of cosmetic surgeons suggested this experiment is making all of us happier. People with Botox may be less vulnerable to the angry emotions of other people because they themselves can’t make angry or unhappy faces as easily. And because people with Botox can’t spread bad feelings to others via their expressions, people without Botox may be happier too. The surgeons grant that this is just speculation for now. Nevertheless, they declare that “we are left with the tantalizing possibility that cosmetic procedures may have beneficial effects that are more than skin deep." (Nat'l Geographic ?)


2- After having random thoughts of Obama's greatness, and especially how it seems to me that skinheads and racist people will be the only ones voting for McCain. An absurd conclusion that seemed far from reality came to mind, just like I came to other absurd conclusions of random thoughts.. I figured, with the ignorance and thirst for power many of these white men want, someone is bound to attempt to assasinate Obama or --follow through with it. I mean, when it comes to these people (whom I may have stereotyped into ignorant) seeing a black man with that sort of success, power, advertising, and thumbs up from mostly everyone can seem quite endearing. Just imagine a million hitlers about to be ruled by a Jew. To them the idea must seem insane, and therefore their insane means somehow make more sense to them than reality..."Schlesselman and Cowart allegedly informed officers they were planning a "killing spree" that would involve killing 88 people and beheading 14 African-Americans. Both numbers have symbolic significance to white supremacists. The number "88" is code for "Heil Hitler," while "14" is a reference to the "14 Words," a white supremacist slogan: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children." Court documents indicate the two suspects discussed a multi-state killing and robbing spree, to include targeting a predominantly African-American school. The murder spree would allegedly end with an attempt to assassinate presidential candidate Barack Obama with a high-powered rifle."(Marketwatch.com)
Crazy. Just imagine, what if they hadn't been caught and everything worked out for them, Where would we stand? Where would America and it's civilians stand? How would the world depict this nation; as a nation of freedom? doubt it. Let it linger. Ponder. Harder.


notice the black cop. c: