I Don't Want To Make This A Habit

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. I love you so much, I want to be yours for the rest of my existence.

2. I'm so happy you knew were to go for a special gift for me, because it shows you really know me now.

3. I want to stop you from getting hurt, I know what your boyfriend has been up to, and all he has been saying to you are lies.

4. Even though I want you to feel what you've done to girls I care about, I wont be part of a plot against you, I'm not like you.

5. I'm sorry for being part of the reason why you were hurt so bad in the past.

6. I'm afraid our friendship wont be what I thought it would be.

7. I hope one day you enlighten me with the plan and path I must follow.

8. I wish you were a true friend, and a respectable person.

9. I want to get close to you because I have discovered how real you are.

10. I want to do everything it takes to keep you happily by my side.

BONUS** I love you so much, and I will always be there to care for you. You are like a son to me, I admire you and I've seen you grow. I want your life to be the happiest and healthiest you could ever come across.

Nine Things about Myself:

1. I am a creative being

2. Water is my element

3. I am not as carefree as I wish I could be

4. I want to do it all

5. I wish I could get a functional ikea bedroom

6. I need a place for everything, otherwise I go nuts

7. I wish I could play the guitar, the piano, but most of all, the ukelele

8. I want to learn everything my grandma knows how to do

9. I want to write a book some day, about all the great people in my life and the influence they had on mine

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:

1. Be yourself

2. Show me what makes you happy and unique

3. Show me self control

4. Have respect for your elders and others alike

5. Tell me the truth, no matter what

6. Tell me your past, even the rough patches

7. Be there for me

8. Show me that you truly care about me

Seven Things that Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. What should my career choice be?

2. How can I make my life less complicated?

3. I need money and for that, a better job.

4. Should I go through with my tattoo idea?

5. How do I forget all about jealousy and live a life jealousy free?

6. How can I make someone else feel good about their lives?

7. What is the path to becoming the ideal me?

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Get into comfortable PJs

2. Run to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take off my contacts

3. Say goodnight to my family

5. Plug in my laptop and phone with the alarm on for the next day

6. Get in bed and call Lenny to wish him sweet dreams, a good night, and for him to rest well

Five People Who Mean a Lot:

1. My family: (Mom, Dad, Jaime)

2. My relatives: (Grandparents, Cousins, Uncles)

3. My boyfriend: Leonard

4. My friends: (A lot to mention)

5. Me

Four Things I'm Wearing Right Now:

1. Chipped dark purple nail polish

2. Green Bodysuit

3. Mint corduroy shorts

4. Black canvas shoes

Three Songs I listen to Often (or 3 bands/artists):

1. Steve Aoki

2. El Guincho

3. The Flaming Lips

Two Things I Want to Do Before I die:

1. Accomplish more than I ever wanted

2. Be happily married, with respectable, smart, and witty children

One Confession:

I usually give great advice to others but it's so hard for me to apply my own knowledge to my life. Nevertheless, I still hope my advice helps others live life in a better way.

A Letter to A Hipster Wannabe

I'm done, I cannot stand when people change for the worst. I hate dumb fucks and especially not being told the truth. Have fun with your clone looking friends, I’m crossing my fingers and hoping this is all an attempt at a scheme that lead up to Halloween.
I have had it with all the importance you give to others' perceptions of your fake ass identity.
Your high regards for looks and appearance are lame; your attempts at it are really sad and obvious.
You were blessed with a working brain for a reason, all you have to do is try to think for yourself and not let others do that for you. Try to stay informed and think before you act or speak; start caring for yourself, and most important listen to those who have been there for you in the past.
The warning signs are more obvious than you realize, heartbreak is bound to come your way.
We have seen it coming, it is going to be bad, just look at his past.
You denied the warm embrace, which was once offered to you; no one is going to help you out of this one. Do not expect to be able to fall back on those who actually got to know you and now you've forgotten all about (along with your identity).
Before it is too late, come to realize how wrong you have been acting.

One last piece of advice before I completely give up on lending you a hand:
Try to find all the pieces of yourself you have lost on the way to the present.
Until you realize this, you will remain weak, sad, incomplete, alone and unhappy.
I can tell that you have not found yourself, much less, what makes you happy.
Find out what makes you, you. Then embark on your own search for happiness instead of looking at what makes others happy to fulfill your unsteady identity.
You are a shapeless glass, undefined and without boundaries to hold any identity, morals, standards or happiness. Find who you are, find your own unique shape. No one can tell you who you are or what you are, that is all up to you.

Ps: If you can relate to any of this, I dedicate this to you.

The Media Today

1- After reading this, I wanted to get botox.Hopefully it would help me look less sour around my mom and we'd be friends:
"In June 2008 in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, a team of cosmetic surgeons suggested this experiment is making all of us happier. People with Botox may be less vulnerable to the angry emotions of other people because they themselves can’t make angry or unhappy faces as easily. And because people with Botox can’t spread bad feelings to others via their expressions, people without Botox may be happier too. The surgeons grant that this is just speculation for now. Nevertheless, they declare that “we are left with the tantalizing possibility that cosmetic procedures may have beneficial effects that are more than skin deep." (Nat'l Geographic ?)


2- After having random thoughts of Obama's greatness, and especially how it seems to me that skinheads and racist people will be the only ones voting for McCain. An absurd conclusion that seemed far from reality came to mind, just like I came to other absurd conclusions of random thoughts.. I figured, with the ignorance and thirst for power many of these white men want, someone is bound to attempt to assasinate Obama or --follow through with it. I mean, when it comes to these people (whom I may have stereotyped into ignorant) seeing a black man with that sort of success, power, advertising, and thumbs up from mostly everyone can seem quite endearing. Just imagine a million hitlers about to be ruled by a Jew. To them the idea must seem insane, and therefore their insane means somehow make more sense to them than reality..."Schlesselman and Cowart allegedly informed officers they were planning a "killing spree" that would involve killing 88 people and beheading 14 African-Americans. Both numbers have symbolic significance to white supremacists. The number "88" is code for "Heil Hitler," while "14" is a reference to the "14 Words," a white supremacist slogan: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children." Court documents indicate the two suspects discussed a multi-state killing and robbing spree, to include targeting a predominantly African-American school. The murder spree would allegedly end with an attempt to assassinate presidential candidate Barack Obama with a high-powered rifle."(Marketwatch.com)
Crazy. Just imagine, what if they hadn't been caught and everything worked out for them, Where would we stand? Where would America and it's civilians stand? How would the world depict this nation; as a nation of freedom? doubt it. Let it linger. Ponder. Harder.


notice the black cop. c:

Scent

This morning I noticed two scents I enjoy: boiled milk, and citrus.

girls who rely on beauty

1. you may look beautiful on the outside, and surely that won't last
2.your happiness is limited to appearance
3.love isn't true, sex and lust are more of a reality in your life
4.your brains wont get you anywhere, however, your pussy and your ass might
5. respect isn't in your dictionary which might give everyone a clue as to why you don't have any for yourself
6. ultimately, you may portray confidence, but we all know there is something you're hiding from us
7.loose pussy: from favors that get you what you want
8.damaged skin: from makeup, sun or tanning beds
9. broken hips: from wearing heels and TRYING to look as tall as a model should
10.ultimately, a prostitute has more morals and higher standards than you do

more random thoughts-animals

1.I just remembered a conclusion that came up the other day.. I recalled it today:
issue: studying under a tree, sitting on a picnic table, random ants everywhere.
conclusion: the wind was blowing them off the tree branches... and obviously they were all surviving the fall and were crawling all over me without feeling the need to sting me.

2.The deer I saw on the other side of the fence which separated the highway from the wild and extensive everglades. This was on our way back home from Orlando. No, it couldn't have been alive, in fact, It's a statue.

3.The squirrel, well allie's conclusion--it galloped.

3 thoughts lingering in my mind

1. I keep seeing people pursuing their dreams, great effort, great creations..sometimes with a success, sometimes not so much. However, I don't know where I hid my dreams to go follow them! Hmm.. Surely I need to find them in order to have the opportunity to attempt success.

2.--I forget now, you're lucky I was able to post at least two things-- Short time memory loss equals me, never being able to remember what I was talking about after I get interrupted.

3. I want to make love to a few songs, I just heard Sexy Boy by Air. Yep, that is one of 'em.

Its getting late

Lately the most difficult for me to do is stay organized and being aware of time. I need a routine.
I also feel that I need to keep writing, as though I might forget how out of nowhere or maybe from fearing that there will be a day that I live without noticing.
What I miss the most is my childhood memories, why do they fade?
Is there an explanation to this?
anything?
ugh

Anywhoo, I'm waitin' for my love to call..Yeah it's been a while since I last updated this, but I got more into livejournal. I suppose I get bored of things easily or what not.

So, about him, he is leo, and I didn't read what I wrote about him but I sure saw the picture of us both at the beach.

Right now I'm just starting to type again with my middle right finger and it feels just as strange as it felt when I typed without it after I burnt it.

Scattered thoughts this is all it is, scattered things all over my brain.. I'm goin' to bed.