note to self

ideal material wish list

1. rock band for wii
2. wii fit
3. green nintendo sd lite
   
4. more sd games like brainage and the curious village
5. walden 8'0 waheenee (or something) surfboard
6. olympus water&shockproof+stabilization digital camera
7. acer mini computer
8. touchscreen home desktop
   
9. more blank canvases
10. drawing pad for computer (bamboo i think)
11. car phone charger
12. magical warranty that gets me a free ipod touch
13. rashguard for work
14. record player
15. guitar lessons
16. recording audio stuff
17. really soft and light bed sheets
18. prismacolor art supplies
19. 100% scholarship
20. a good film developer for fisheye pix
    
21. a bunch of free money, like 5000 would be satisfying
22. palm for bible software
23. awesome buttock muscles & skin
24. new employer who gives me more moneys for fun/networking/fashion or music industry type of job
25. sweet new friends with great connections
26. connections who are real and not just iconic
27. an eraser
28. a new sketchbook to go thingie
29. le sportsac baggage
30. cheaper books!
31. motivation
32. organization
33. strength
34. wisdom
35. rest
36. the one
37. the ring
38. internship in france
39. all the love
    

• NOT IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER!
  

tell me that you love me

Well, I cannot wait any longer.

I need to see you, feel you, breathe you, touch you, kiss you, smile @ you.
I need to be back in your arms.
Smiling, laughing, dancing, prancing, and loving you.
But before I do any of this, I want to know if you're willing to do this with me.

When I see you again, I will need to hold you and cry with you.
I want to forget many sour things, yes, from the bottom of my heart I truly forgive you.

I want to look forward with you by my side.

Are you ready?

everything is silent

The only sounds I want to hear are those of your voice.
The only sounds I want to dance to are those from your mind.
I just want to be with you, closer each day, joyous and contagious with your laughter. I want to be really close to you physically too. I want to feel the heat of your hand brushing against mine.
I miss you so much, all day I've been trying to leave status updates all over where you might see them. I do this so you know what I'm up to, but I don't think you've payed any mind.. your message says the same thing: "pulsating"
not knowing how you're doing is so difficult to deal with. only because I want to know that you're well and maybe thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about you.
i feel really alone and i need to hear your voice..your comforting thoughts put in speech and sweet sentences. i miss you lots and i don't think this "break" is gonna last.
i can wait till I'm ready, when I am I will let you know.

at 4:50 am

I woke up, I looked at my phone thinking about you, thinking about how much I'd be in your thoughts. Imagining your ride back home, imagining how much music was on your mind. I had 2 messages, one from Allie, one from you. You! I read it right away, I saw your sweet words and it was like I felt you right there with me. I looked @ the time you sent it and I realized I was just going to sleep when you had sent it, I even recall hearing my phone ring my tone for texts-thinking it was Allie replying to me I ignored it. It was you c:

I looked @ my facebook and I saw that two hours after you'd sent that nice text to me, you'd also commented me, and it lets me know just how much you've been thinking about me.
you're sincerely a really sweet man, the man who I love and will care for unconditionally. Thank you for showing me that I still have your heart, that I'm on your mind. You are too on mine.

I love you too, and I've been missing you, my sunshine.

the night is falling

Yes, it's getting dark and the day is going,
the night is falling,
tonight I feel you deep inside my heart with longing.

That's as far as I'll take my poetry tonight because I know that when it's nighttime it's time for me to get ready to talk to you; to hear your voice, see how your day went, and I long for that moment that wont come tonight. The moment I long for so much is coming soon, but not tonight-still, it's getting closer. Your voice will only be the one I have in my heart,the sweet words and laughs, those I will only remember tonight. Those great moments in which your voice bared love and care because it's that voice that is worth remembering, that is the voice that I choose to hear and the voice that I choose to sketch my smile. I wish I could be a part of you tonight and hear all about your night and your crazy great adventures in the day. I long for you every minute that I let you linger into my mind and mostly into my heart-this happens every minute that it's darker, and later outside. When darkness covers all, my heart's sunshine brightly shines upon yours to let my eyes, my soul, see within it. Your heart is beautiful, your intentions too I know this because I've been in love with you-I still am. It's getting closer and closer to that time for me to hear your voice say 'I love you & good night' and though it may not come tonight, inside I feel peace and joy from knowing that you'll also be missing me and longing for me.
For now I'll be more than happy writing these memoirs to you. These memoirs of love and feelings of longing for you. So that you know just how much I've really thought about you. So that you know just how much my heart loves you and how good it is, how good and wholesome my love is for you.

I am willing to take this time to take off on a little vacation into my heart and my mind. It's truly amazing how much I've discovered about us within myself, and most importantly how good it feels to find that it is all good and that I love you. Though you are imperfect, you are also beautiful in many ways that I know how to appreciate. Now it's time to learn even more ways for me to see how amazing you are in places I never dared discover.

Just know that "your name is on my heart" as you said to me recently.

Leo, your name is on my heart.

everything happens for a reason

right now im thinking a lot
i feel good because my homework is to let a lot of emotions pass me by. a lot of emotions settle and marinate and flush them out.
and i feel sad at times too, because i miss you.
it is without a doubt that i have to say that i love you.
i wish i had a little camera by you so i could spy on you and just so that i could see you smiling and enjoying yourself.

i know you're having a great time. i know your day is going well and mine is too.
i'm a little worried about us, but i am SO OVER THE TOP willing to improve in any way to be happier and make you happier.

you are really amazing to me, you are really sweet to me, you are really great in every way. i just want to enjoy your company; have a few laughs with you and smile because you're next to me, holding my hand. i want to show you so much love, show you how much i care about you, i want to show you so much respect and show you by allowing you to be free in anything you like to do, i want to show you respect by acknowledging what you say, and caring about it. i want to be a best friend, and i want to be your sweetheart.

i hope you feel the way i do, that your thoughts and your memory have focus for only one person. that your heart only answers to another heart's beat. i hope that it is me who inspires you or motivates you.
my thoughts and my memory show me only your eyes, your smile, your beautiful self. smiling at me, or making a silly face,or showing me a big smile when you see me. i only know the beautiful you. my memory too only remembers that side of you. my heart only answers to the song of yours, to your own heartbeat.

at this point i feel like i've departed, like i'm far from you, but i am still with you. like a long trip away from home, and yet i'm at home, and i'm glad that i know you are in my life. i am gone away for a bit because i need this time to heal all these wounds i never took care of. this love we have is not a contest. not for me, i just want to enjoy one day at a time by your side. this is not a strive for perfection either, i am happy with imperfection, i just want to learn to enjoy it. you've taught me many things, but i've yet to accept them and learn them and apply them. however, i am trying my best. i love you with my big red fast thumping heart.

i miss you lovie

blank

used to be really addicting.
now crochetting, but i see in the future something more.
you'll see
for now that photo is a preview at coming attractions.
i wanna do so much, create, and collaborate.
:D
ps: you may lol @ my face. ;P

oh and here are a few sets from my polyvore.
wooohoo

lol



technicolourish - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


cute in stripes - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


simple comfort - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


little red things - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


summery - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com


eileen - by sandrazilla on Polyvore.com

random thought: i want to go to vancouver, korea, japan, and montreal. asap.


ohh man, i got a film analysis paper to write.
enough procrastinating for now.

oh! and i got a twitter!
<3 sancapimo = me on twitter


wait, before i go i recommend you view this film:


Coraline - by Counterlines on Polyvore.com

Bye4N0w <3